


Destiny

by raktajinos



Category: Ancient Egyptian RPF
Genre: Character Study, Feminist Themes, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship, POV Female Character, historically accurate sibling incest referenced, institutionalized sexism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-22 02:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1572299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raktajinos/pseuds/raktajinos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ankhesenamun reflects on the lessons her mother taught her about being Queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destiny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gray Cardinal (Gray_Cardinal)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gray_Cardinal/gifts).



I've known my entire life that I would be queen. When I was young, Mother would sit and brush my hair for hours, telling me stories of my future, of the lands I would rule. She wanted to prepare me for the future I would inherit; the future I deserved. She taught me all the lessons and skills I would need to be a ruler of my own right of how to step beyond the role of 'wife' and become Queen. 

She used to tell me how it irritated her that a woman must be married for her to rule and that it was unnecessary. Women were the life-bringers and with that came a god-given inspiration for how to rule life. She would tell me of her childhood and of her mother's childhood, wanting me to understand my history. She would say that there was a history of women in our family and that it would be my duty to pass the history on to my children. 

There was once a woman named Hatshepsut, my mother said she would honour her every night in her prayers. She was a woman who ruled as King, without a consort, without the rigidity of marriage. She brought prosperity to Egypt, building canals and expanding trade. Mother wanted to be like her; to bring honour to Egypt in her name and be remembered for all of time for her abilities. 

She told me the stories of my grandmother, of my aunts, of women who were not destined to rule but who became leaders and mothers and experts at whatever path they chose to follow. She taught me it was important to remember the stories of our sisters, of the ones who would not be Queen; they would become my greatest allies and my strongest support systems. I knew this to be true because my mother’s own sister Tey was a permanent fixture in our household. 

Mother said that everything was about power and that as a woman my path to power would be different than that of my brothers. They would have theirs passed down to them, from father to son, king to prince. Mother wished the same happened for mothers and daughters. When I would argue that it did, that her telling me these stories at night was her way of passing them on, she would smile at me. She said it was different. That women’s history was private, passed down through the generations without the pomp and circumstance of a public ceremony. 

But she said I deserved a public ceremony; I deserved the people to worship at my feet as easily as they did my brother. Her beauty was renowned and she had many sculptors working to codify her likeness in monuments throughout the city. She told me I should not be ashamed to do so as well; that if we did not physically mark our existence, we would be relegated to the role of ‘wife’ by history. As women, as Queens, we had to yell it louder than our husbands. Demand our place. 

My mother was the strongest person I've ever known. Idealistic, opinionated, wickedly intelligent and with a temper to match. She taught me to be bold in my opinions, to read, to listen to my father’s advisors when they discussed the issues of the realm. At night she would ask me my thoughts on whatever issue was plaguing her and said that I should never be afraid to voice my thoughts, even if they disagreed with her. And we did disagree on things, many things. My mother and father were devoted worshippers of Aten, the sun king and my siblings followed suit as we were raised. My brother disagreed, wanting instead to return to the polytheistic ways of our ancestors. He would insist on the suffix name amun instead of his given aten as we entered our middle years. It caused quite a lot of fighting between my parents and brother in the privacy of our chambers. 

I did not care either way; I respected my parent’s faith but I knew I would be required to convert to my brother’s once we were married. I also knew that my brother planned to abandon Amarna when he became King, moving back to the Royal Palace in Wasat. I would miss this city; it was my parents dream – so many years of labour poured into its construction. It was a gorgeous offering to Aten and it would stand as a constant memory of my parent’s, of my mother’s, legacy. 

I would aspire to do the same, to have something so grand to commemorate my reign. Perhaps not a city, but I knew mother would want me to build something, erect something in my own name

Power was everything. All of her other lessons came back to power; how to gain it, how to retain it. She fought tooth and nail for her power, manipulating whomever she needed to secure her place. I admired her for it - the way she shamelessly fought for what she wanted. She said she wanted a better life for her children than what she had. She wanted her daughters to have the same power and control over their lives as her sons. 

 

 

When I was old enough to understand more of how the world of politics worked, I watched in awe as she did what was necessary to retain her power. 

She was a just ruler, listening to her people and wanting to bring them happiness and prosperity. But she was not passive; I knew she had arranged to have people killed; men killed who threatened her in some way. She would tell me later that there were things a Queen must do to protect her position and that trust was an essential element to being a good ruler. 

When I was older I would reflect on the other lessons I had learned from her; how to pick a husband. Father was a good man; he loved us and took care of us. But as I grew up I realized it was her and not him who was the power behind the throne. He had no taste for politics, instead happy to simply worship my mother and play with us children. Mother though, she was the real crocodile in the water; she “had a taste for blood” the advisors would say.

I knew I was destined to marry my brother, Tutankhamen, and all of Egypt was awaiting the day of our marriage. My brother was popular and athletic, impressing our people with chariot races and stone-lifting. Mother would frequently get annoyed with him, worried he would injure himself, risking the “line of succession”. If he did not become King, my chances at Queen would be lessened, so we could not risk him dying too early. It would be possible for me to find a new husband if necessary and Mother instructed me in the ways of selecting out proper people to trust; whether for marriage or for advisors. 

Trust was an odd thing; she trusted my father, but she had a select group of people around her who she trusted. I remember there were few people with whom she would trust me alone. For a husband, she said, I would want a man who was kind, who would support my opinions, who would be my equal. I should judge a man not in how he treats his equals, but in how he treats those below him. Kind men were rare though, brutish men more common and she said if I was unfortunate enough to find a brutish one, I should hope he is soft and malleable, easier to bend to my will. 

Being Queen was more than just a title. My mother wanted me to know that with it came responsibility, a duty for the people of Egypt. I must look out for myself and my own legacy, to ensure my passage into the afterlife, but I also had to listen to my people and be the Queen they deserved. She would bring me to court when I was old enough to sit quietly by myself and I would watch her while the commoners and slaves came in to request royal patronage. I saw how she would look at each person; treat them like a person worth looking at. I knew of the allure she had over people, my father called it ‘magic’ the way she was able to put a spell over people and make them feel like they were the only people in the room. I watched her do this time and time again, and I knew it was key to her maintaining power. I could only hope to be half as charismatic as her; I had her blood in my veins, but I had my father’s heart and I worried I would not be the Queen she was. 

If she knew of my reservations she said not, instead always assuming the absolute best of me. I made a silent promise to Aten and to her every night that I would try my absolute best, study as hard as I could, absorb every lesson she had to teach me so that when my time came I would be ready. 

And I would be ready. It was my destiny.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this is something along the lines of what you wanted. I've never read the Mertz's novels, so most of my Amarna-period knowledge comes from the work of Joyce Tyldesley. And this was fun! I signed up for Egypt RPF on a whim and I'm so glad I did - though I totally got derailed a bunch of times while I was refreshing my knowledge :P 
> 
> Also, I refer to the city as Amarna instead of Akhetaten for clarity's sake.


End file.
